Questions to Ask a Therapist Before Your First Session | Dr. Peter Gleiberman (PSY33347) Licensed Psychologist, San Mateo, CA

One of the most common things I hear from people who are considering therapy but haven't started yet is that they don't know what to say on the first call. The idea of reaching out to a therapist they've never met and explaining why they need help, in a way that sounds coherent and not overly dramatic, stops a lot of people before they even pick up the phone.

Here's what I want you to know before you make those calls: the initial consultation is not an audition. You are not being evaluated on how clearly you can articulate your struggles. What matters is whether the conversation feels like a fit. Whether the therapist seems to understand you, whether their approach resonates, and whether you feel a basic sense of safety in the exchange. That is true whether you are calling therapists in San Mateo, searching for telehealth options across California, or anywhere in between.

1. You Don't Need to Speak in Clinical Terms

As a client, there's no expectation for you to be fluent in clinical jargon or to understand theoretical orientations. If you're unsure where to begin or what questions to ask, start by describing how you feel and the impact on your life. Using simple descriptors like feeling disconnected, experiencing heaviness, tightness, or dullness can effectively convey your experience. Depression, anxiety, and different kinds of stress can present differently for each person, the goal is to communicate your experience!

2. Structured or Flexible?

Consider your preferences for session structure. Reflect on whether you envision highly structured sessions with preset topics led by the therapist, or if you prefer the flexibility to bring in your thoughts and feelings organically. Determine whether you'd benefit from an active therapist guiding the process or one who allows more space for your input.

3. Questions for the Therapist

During the initial consultation call, it's not just about you providing information. Take the opportunity to ask questions that will help you assess the fit between you and the therapist. Some questions to consider:

• Have you worked with clients facing similar issues to mine?

• Can you describe what a typical session with you looks like?

• Do you assign homework between sessions?

• How do you handle it if the therapeutic fit doesn't seem right to either of us?

• What is your fee per session?

• How frequently do you recommend sessions, weekly or bi-weekly?

• Are there any expectations or requirements you have for your clients?

What to Listen For on the Call

The questions you ask matter, but so does what you notice in the therapist's responses. A few things worth paying attention to:

• Do they actually answer your questions, or do they deflect? A therapist who sidesteps direct questions about their approach during the consultation call is unlikely to become more transparent once you are in paid sessions.

• Do they seem genuinely curious about you, or are they running through a checklist? The consultation call is a small but real sample of how a therapist engages. Curiosity, warmth, and actual listening are worth noting.

• Does their language make sense to you? You should not need a clinical dictionary to understand how a therapist describes their work. If the explanation of their approach leaves you more confused than when you started, factor that in.

A Note on Consultation Calls with Me

I offer a complimentary consultation of 15 to 60 minutes for prospective clients. For me, this conversation is genuinely the beginning of the work, not a formality before scheduling begins. I use it to understand what has brought you to this point, what you are hoping therapy might help with, and whether my approach seems like a fit. If I do not think I am the right person for what you need, I will tell you that directly and do my best to point you toward someone who might be a better fit.

These questions not only give you valuable insights into the therapist's approach but also help establish whether there's a potential fit between your goals and the therapist's expertise.

Remember, the initial call is a two-way street. Both you and the therapist are evaluating if this could be a productive therapeutic relationship. Embrace the uncertainty, ask questions, and explore if you might be able to trust the process with what you are hearing. It's a significant step towards finding the support you need. If you are looking for therapy for depression, anxiety, or stress in San Mateo, Ca please feel free to contact me for an initial consultation.

Once you've chosen someone: How to Find the Right Therapist in San Mateo