5 Tips for Starting Therapy | A San Mateo Psychologist's Guide

One of the questions I hear most often from prospective clients, both in initial calls and from people I know personally navigating the process, is: I've found someone, I've scheduled the appointment, now what do I actually do? Starting therapy, even when you've done the work of finding the right person, can still feel uncertain. These five tips are what I share with clients who are new to therapy, or returning to it after time away, to help them begin with clarity and realistic expectations.

1.) Clarify Your Goals

Your goals can be as concrete and specific or as vague as you like. For some, there's a clear issue they want to address, such as therapy for anxiety, dealing with a breakup, or learning how to set better boundaries in relationships. For others, they might feel something is off but struggle to articulate it: "I know there's more to life, but I'm not sure how to get there." Regardless of how specific your goal is, sharing it can help tailor your therapy sessions to your needs.

2.) Be Open and Honest

As a therapist, my goal is to create a safe space where clients can explore their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors without judgment. Being open and honest with yourself, even if you're not ready to share everything with your therapist right away, increases your chances of achieving your therapeutic goals. It might mean acknowledging discomfort or worry about being judged by something coming up for you in session. Simply letting your therapist know something is on your mind, even if you're not ready to discuss it, fosters trust and rapport. As a therapist I still have to earn your trust, just like any other relationship.

3.) Build Trust and Rapport with Your Therapist

This is an extension of tip 2. Therapy takes time, and part of that is feeling out whether you're having the experiences with your therapist that lead to earning your trust. Hopefully, you do not feel judged, and you feel heard. To a similar extent, whether the therapist feels like they have the right training, clinical experience, and are a fit for you. It may seem counterintuitive but if you are struggling to connect with your therapist, voicing that struggle can help facilitate movement!

4.) Be Patient with Yourself

Therapy isn't always straightforward, and progress isn't always linear. Sometimes a session may leave you feeling worse initially because it brought to light something you hadn't fully processed. However, this newfound awareness can lead to important breakthroughs and growth. Allow yourself the time and space to learn from these experiences; they can provide valuable momentum.

5.) Consistency

One of the general goals of therapy, in my opinion, is consistency not perfection. When starting out with therapy the first opportunity to establish consistency is in scheduling. This allows the you to show up for yourself and be provided the space you need. Consistency does not need to mean sessions every week, for some the sweet spot is bi-weekly. Whatever the frequency, consistency provides the opportunity for the other tips to take place and activate. When that occurs, you have a higher likelihood of maintaining momentum and progressively working towards your goals.

One More Thing: Therapy Is Not a Linear Process

Progress in therapy rarely follows a straight line. There will be sessions that feel transformative and sessions that feel unremarkable. There will be moments when old patterns resurface just when you thought you had moved past them. This is not a sign that therapy is not working, rather it is often a sign that it is. Growth tends to happen in the space between sessions, in the way you begin to notice your own patterns in real life and respond to them differently.

If you are in San Mateo, Burlingame, Foster City, or anywhere across the Bay Area Peninsula and are considering starting therapy, I would be glad to talk through whether working together might be a good fit.

Every individual's therapeutic journey is unique, but starting psychotherapy can be a transformative experience that leads to increased self-awareness, emotional resilience, and well-being. Communicating your goals, being open and honest with yourself, building trust with your therapist, practicing patience, and maintaining consistency, you can maximize the benefits of therapy for your personal growth.

Peter Gleiberman, Psy.D.

Licensed Psychologist PSY33347

https://www.talkwithdrg.com/

Almost there: What to Expect in Your First Therapy Session